| Today I would like to talk about a topic I think | | | | mention the rest of my life not knowing how to |
| every one of us can relate to. | | | | swim. |
| Fear. | | | | I was staring in the face of the "Terror Barrier" |
| The dictionary defines fear as: noun 1. an anxiety | | | | More on that later. |
| caused by real or possible danger 2. pain, | | | | But at that moment, I made a decision. I set a |
| apprehension, concern | | | | Goal and decided I would learn how to swim. |
| At one time or another we have all experienced | | | | Here is what I did: |
| the emotion of fear. | | | | Step 1. I asked my friends to swim past me in |
| There are so many variations of fear. Fear of the | | | | the shallow end, while I held my nose and went |
| unknown, fear of events outside of our control, | | | | underwater to see what their arms and legs were |
| fear of failure, fear of success, fear of intimacy, | | | | doing as they swam by. I observed that the |
| fear of people who are different from us, fear of | | | | arms were doing one thing and the legs were |
| ______(fill in the blank)_______. | | | | doing another thing and I thought hmmm, maybe |
| I have found that at it's very core, fear is simply | | | | I could do this. |
| a signal or a call to action. The ultimate purpose of | | | | Step 2. I went to the lifeguards and asked them |
| fear is to serve you. | | | | to watch me while I held onto the wall, where I |
| There are two kinds of fear, what I call Stage 1 | | | | proceeded to kick my legs like my friends had |
| Fear and Stage 2 Fear. | | | | done. Interestingly, when I did this I became |
| Stage 1 Fear is very real. It's the fear that calls | | | | somewhat buoyant. |
| for immediate action, for example, when your life | | | | Step 3. I let go of the wall and swam a few feet |
| or safety is in immediate danger. This is an | | | | out. Then I swam back to the wall. Imagine my |
| all-consuming fear that intuitively grips your gut, | | | | surprise, I was actually doing it, I was SWIMMING! |
| without thinking. For example when you're walking | | | | I don't know if you know how to swim or how |
| down a dark street and you sense danger. I | | | | you learned, but sometimes the longer you wait, |
| mean it's very serious and should not be ignored. | | | | the harder it becomes. Seriously, that imaginary |
| This fear most definitely serves you. | | | | barrier can play tricks with your mind if you don't |
| Stage 2 Fear, on the other hand is a little more | | | | keep it in check. I went from feeling terrified, |
| mysterious. It surfaces whenever you move | | | | wishing I could swim, to deciding I would learn, |
| outside of your comfort zone or try something | | | | then taking immediate action to make it reality, all |
| you've never done before. For some it is a fear | | | | within a few hours. |
| of flying, fear of heights, fear of roller coasters, | | | | And by the end of the day, I was swimming in |
| fear of being married, fear of being divorced, fear | | | | the deep end and about a month later, I was |
| of starting a business, fear of starting a new | | | | jumping off the diving boards in the deepest part |
| career, fear of learning a new skill, etc. | | | | of the pool. In fact, it was not pretty or efficient, |
| Becoming aware of the two different kinds of | | | | but I was swimming good enough to get where I |
| fear allows you to take a step back anytime you | | | | wanted to go. |
| feel afraid so that you can evaluate how it can | | | | The purpose of fear is to serve you. |
| serve you. You can ask yourself, is this stage 1 | | | | The "Terror Barrier" is an imaginary line. |
| fear where I need to take immediate action, | | | | On one side is you and where you are now. |
| disengage or change course -or- is this stage 2 | | | | On the other side is your dream, your Goal. |
| fear, where I am simply being faced with the | | | | Most people turn back when they reach the |
| opportunity of moving beyond my comfort zone. | | | | Terror Barrier. They say, "no, I am too afraid, I |
| Stage 1 is usually a warning that requires | | | | am frozen, I'm turning back and staying in my |
| immediate attention, while Stage 2 Fear can | | | | comfort zone where I feel safe." And they never |
| actually be an invitation towards something that is | | | | step over the line to find out what they are truly |
| ultimately good for you. | | | | capable of. They can't see beyond the current |
| Yes, it's true, you can actually feel afraid of | | | | fright, when what is on the other side is so good. |
| something that is GOOD for you. :) | | | | But... |
| You can be afraid of falling in love, speaking in | | | | You cannot live your entire life holding on to the |
| front of an audience, meeting new people, trying | | | | edge of the pool. |
| something you have never tried before, starting a | | | | Some of you are in an illusion that you are in |
| business, and so on. | | | | Stage 1 Fear, you are terrified, but you actually in |
| Here is an example. | | | | Stage 2 Fear, with the perception of Stage 1. |
| When I was 13 years old, in the 7th grade, | | | | You're at the Terror Barrier. |
| myself and my entire peer group spent our | | | | It's just a matter of going beyond where you are |
| summer days at the park district swimming pool. | | | | now. |
| There were actually 2 pools. A shallow pool for | | | | Put your safeguards in place whenever you can, |
| the little ones and a pool that had a graduated | | | | find yourself a mentor or coach and create a plan |
| depth from 3 feet to 15 feet where the diving | | | | of action for your Goal and start going after what |
| boards where. | | | | you want. Whenever possible, model those who |
| Swimming pools are fantastic. And being a kid, sun | | | | went before you. |
| and fun all summer long, what more could you | | | | Now that I understand it, I have run ins with the |
| ask for, right? | | | | Terror Barrier on a daily basis. There are |
| One tiny little problem... at 13 years old, I did not | | | | constantly new things I want to learn or do that |
| know how to swim. | | | | are waaaay outside of my comfort zone. I |
| As all of my friends were swimming away into | | | | acknowledge the fear, evaluate the situation and |
| the deep end, I was left clinging to the side of the | | | | break through it. |
| pool in the shallow end, terrified to let go. | | | | Just like when I learned how to swim, it's not |
| Now let me be clear. As my friends swam away, | | | | always pretty, but it's good enough to get me |
| I was without a doubt feeling Stage 1 Fear. I had | | | | where I want to go. |
| every reason to be afraid. It would not have | | | | Most of the fear and worry people give their |
| been wise to follow them into the deep end at | | | | energy to is a figment of their imagination. 99% |
| that time. | | | | of the worries and anxiety of the world never |
| Being in any body of water, not knowing how to | | | | happen. |
| swim is dangerous and potentially life threatening. | | | | Stop wasting energy being paralyzed by fear. |
| Anything that can end in serious injury or death | | | | "A ship in port is safe, but that's not what ships |
| should not be taken lightly. But there are risks | | | | are built for." -Grace Murray Hopper |
| involved in anything worth doing in life. I could | | | | Allow your fear to serve you. |
| have abstained from the activity all together | | | | Think of what dreams of yours have led you to |
| forever, but spending the rest of my life in the | | | | the brink of the Terror Barrier where you turned |
| kiddie pool was not appealing to me. Forget about | | | | away? Was this truly a Stage 1 fear or was it |
| the peer pressure, or the other kids making fun | | | | Stage 2 (an illusion) ? |
| of me, I can handle that. But I could not handle | | | | Write it down and email it to me if you're ready |
| missing out on all of the fun they were having. I | | | | to break through it and make the dream a reality. |
| did not want to go on one more day, not to | | | | |