Coping With a Teenager and Other Impossibilities

I'm a survivor. No, I don't have a yellow ribbon onwith what was going on, (c) not being fair, or (d)
my lapel or a group that meets every Thursdayall of the above. What was I thinking?
night. Instead, I have a twenty-one year oldI tried to think back to my teenage years but it
daughter. And in order for her to have achievedwas an unfair comparison. We didn't have (a) cell
that number, she and I had to go through herphones with text messaging, (b) cable tv, (c)
teenage years. It's what I affectionately call, thecomputers or the Internet, (d) microwaves, (e)
"Seven Years of Hell." Not that all of it was bad,fax machines, or (f) credit cards and practically no
mind you, because it wasn't. But, like a malignantmoney whatsoever. This generation was
fungus, it began slowly and kind of crept up ontechno-charged and I was a dinosaur from the
my wife and myself. I tell you how it affectedblack and white television age. Geez.
me during that period. Two words: Oh, My God!Once she got her first car, I rarely saw her
You see, now I can't even count anymore.unless she needed money, food, or something
It began innocently enough. The day my daughterwas broken. We got her the requisite cell phone
turned thirteen, I hid in the closet waiting to seeand credit card. They were for "emergencies," we
what I had created. After a few hours of waiting,explained. She decided that "emergency" meant
I realized that things appeared normal. So I wentany time she had to call anyone on earth or had
back to my routine and monitored her progress.to buy anything at anytime for any reason. The
It took months before I noticed any signs of thebattle lines had been drawn. We spent the next
"transformation" as I like to call it. It happened onefew years fighting over her curfew, spending
Sunday when she was doing her homework. Shehabits, friends with various addictions, and our
was working a math problem for beginning"behavior."
algebra and said, "What's an invisible number?"There were always issues about our behavior,
I looked at her quizzically and replied, "I'm notnot hers. We were the unyielding parents that
sure."didn't understand her. The problem was, we did,
She gave me the strangest look and then hungand were constantly expressing ourselves. What
her head. "You mean you don't know everything?"were we thinking? The nerve of us actually
she asked in amazement.questioning her judgment? Surely, we could
I shook my head and admitted to the failure.recognize the vast unlimited experience and
From that day forward, the spiral of agony began.knowledge of someone who had been on this
No longer did she consult me regarding everyearth a whopping seventeen years! She was now
aspect of her life. I wasn't the all-knowing guruthe expert on practically everything and we had
she clung to before. Rather, she began to ask herundergone totally lobotomies. Our minds were
friends for advice. Now that's a scary thought invirtual mush and unable to perceive her brilliance.
itself. But they were more than happy to tell herIt was quite obvious we were now to be on the
all they knew about every subject. Eventually, Ilosing end of every discussion.
would discover the wealth of totally absurd factsToward the end of the teenage reign of terror,
they exposed whenever approached.the wars were conducted with less frequency
"Lincoln was the first president, or was it Franklin?and we somehow regained partial use of our
The capital of Europe is Paris. You can get a fakebrains. She decided that we still knew a few basic
ID over the Internet." Good stuff like that.things and didn't always question our decisions.
As she and I aged together, the rift grew wider.Harmony crept back into our relationship as the
Not only was I getting dumber by the hourbirds sung and the crickets chirped once again.
regarding schoolwork, I couldn't be relied on forNow life is good and we got along perfectly. Did I
any of the right answers. She would ask to staymention that she moved out on her own at
out later, or skip a class. When I gave a negativeeighteen to go to college? Now I wonder if that
response, I was (a) unfeeling, (b) out of touchhad anything to do with it.